The teenage community of Britain’s representative, namely Vicky Pollard, displays a taste for Snakebite this week. I recommend at least 5 pints of this for an authentic teenage-style night out, usually ending in vomit on the shoes. Once again the immortal use of "this place is rubbish" when being thrown out seems strangely familiar to me as I have thrown many Vickys out of my shop in the last few years. Oh the laughter of recognition is such a gift!

Contrary to popular belief I have never been to a gay Trekkie night. If I had done I am sure it would be just like the one in The Scarecrow And Mrs. King pub. Daffyd had the right idea; we don’t want their type around here. Loved the squeaky chafing hotpants though, had us in stitches at the filming. What is it with poofs and sci-fi? Part of the gay gene I suppose. In the real world there is a Doctor Who gay club called The Sisterhood of Karn who meet in a pub and do all sorts of poofy things... Can I have another Bacardi and Coke please Myfanwy?