Hello. My name is Doug Ramsey, I am a drugs counsellor in Glasgae and before you ask, don't! I've been there, done it long before you even thought of it and then written about it on my blog, which is not at all geeky actually. I have seen drugs and been on drugs. You scum user losers need all the help you can get and I can help because I once took so many drugs that I believed that new version of Band Aid was a well made piece of contemporary music and not at all cynically PR'ed exercise in corporate crassness. You thieving leeches! You come in here expecting a sympathetic ear when you're Kellogg's Choco Krispies before they got changed back to Coco Pops, you're Mike Read's musical about Oscar Wilde, and some of you are ITV's All Star Sketch Show! It's simple to not get involved with drugs, like what I didn't do. Just say no. Simple. Do you want some of these drugs? ... No I do not want them, you dirty skanky dealer. No. It's that easy.

	This lying cheating thieving old bitch tried to pretend she wanted the cake decorating class but I know a junkie when I see one. She had a serious marzipan habit before she came to me.
	The man with the instrument had taken so many drugs that he believed Her Highness Princess Anne The Princess Royal was speaking to him telepathically. Just say no!