A disgruntled ex-employee from Ye Olde Hotel has leaked us the top secret recipe for tomato soup. The endless piccolo and riddles became too much for her to cope with and she fled, taking only this document. For this we thank her.

Now ye too will know too much!

Ingredients

• 50 g butter... Gold in colour and slippery to the touch.
• 1 onion ... chopped finely but be careful not to get the tear droplets from eyes in the food.
• 300 ml milk... secreted from a cow's udder.
• 600 ml vegetable stock... yeeees, nothing made from cooows in this recipe.
• 1 tsp of pepper... the foe of salt
• 2 tins of chopped tomatoes... the seeded fruit that is often mistooken for a vegetable. Red in colour and fleshy within... but beware of the pips!

Directions

• Melt the golden slippery butter in a large cauldron and fry the naughty tear-makers until they soften.
• Blend in the hot liquid that contains no coows and add the other ingredients.
• Mix them together until they magically resemble a soup.
• Turn the magic heating machine up to it's most hot level and bring to the boil.
• Put a lid on the cauldron and simmer for 5 to 10 minutes.
• Put through the lump-removing device to make it all smooth.
• Serve, but not in a goblet.
• Baffle your customers with rubbish riddles.

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